If You were gay
by kyou fangirl
Summary: yeah... as in the avenue q song. dont own the song, barely own the plot and dont own the characters. remus/sirius. james/remus friendship. silliness.
1. Chapter 1

If you were gay.

**James' POV**

It was a lovely day in the great hall. The sun was shining through the enchanted ceiling, the lunch was tasty soup, it was a Saturday, and the gay boy in the year below me was flirting with me. How could it get any better than this? Honestly, it just makes me so happy to know that no one can resist me. Not even Evans. Even if she won't admit it. She totally wants me.

Being the sort to act on impulse I stood up, leaving gay-boy-whose–name-escapes-me behind without so much of a word. I'm sure he was very upset, but I had better things to do. I felt like visiting Moony. So, of course, that's what I was doing. As I walked, I took out the map and noticed that Remus was sitting in the common room. He was not moving. Upon closer inspection, he was positioned in a place that was surely the couch. Seeing as the common room was empty, he was almost certainly reading. If I knew my friend at all, the book he was reading was _Hogwarts: a History_.

I came to the portrait hole and said the pass word cheerfully. "Horcrux," whatever that means.

"Moooooons! Fancy seeing you here!" I said, sitting down next to Remus.

"Hi, James," he replied, seeming slightly unenthusiastic at my presence.

"Whatcha up to?"

"Reading."

"Whatcha reading?"

"Hogwarts-"

"A History? Again?" He gave me a look. A look of evil. In all fairness to Moony, he was in a bad mood because it was nearing his time of the month, and I should really know better than to mock his favorite book. I made a mental note of that, and slipped it into my mental suggestion box of how to better myself as a human being. I then inwardly pondered where those suggestions always went for the next hour as I continued daily life.

"Guess what happened to me?"

"What?" asked Remus, still looking at his book.

"You know that guy?"

"Yes," he muttered. This meant he was either psychic or not really listening. I was okay with both.

"Well he sat with me at lunch."

"Fascinating," said Remus, in a voice that sounded just not sarcastic enough that I deducted that he was referring to his book. How he could still find it fascinating on the eight time around, I would never know.

"And he was smiling at me." Remus made a note in his book, which no normal person should do if they aren't reading a book for a class. "And talkin' to me." Remus turned the page. "And I think he was kind of coming on to me! I think he might have thought I was gay!" Remus looked up showing looking aggravated. "Though if I were gay, he would totally be my type…"

"Why should I care? I don't care! How was lunch?"

"Very good. Hey Remus?"

"What!?"

"You don't need to be so defensive with me…"

"I'm not being _defensive!_ I am _trying_ to read my favorite book!"

I sat in silence for a moment. Or two. Or three. And that was about at which time my attention span for doing nothing broke.

"Moons?"

"What?" he snapped. Wasn't there something in that black hole of a suggestion box about not bothering remus while he read? No… that was about not bothering him about what he read…. Hm….

"You know I'd be okay with it if you were gay, right?"

He grumbled. Time of the month. Right.

"I mean… if _I _were gay, I would tell you."

**Remus' POV**

I had absolutely no idea what was happening. Something that was unsurprising with James there, but still… one moment I'm alone with no roommate to bother me, and now I'm sitting here with the best friend of my secret crush and one of my best friends sitting here talking about homosexuality! I DON'T CARE IF YOU WOULD ACCEPT ME! GO AWAY SO I CAN CONTINUE USING THIS BOOK AS AN EXCUSE TO NOT BE INTERUPTED WHILE I FANTASIZE ABOUT SIRIUS! DAMN YOU!

I vaguely wondered if this annoyingness would somehow influence the wolf to kill James on Monday. I hoped there would be no killing, but a little mauling never hurt anyone, right? Then I forced the monster out of my brain and went back to scribbling absentmindedly on the corner of my page, ignoring the fact that I was, instead of writing, doodling a little figure of Sirius and me holding hands with a little heart around us. Later, I would magically erase it.

**James' POV**

While I was listing the various ways in which I would be okay with Remus being gay, I got the feeling that he wasn't really listening. Until his angry outburst of how gross I was when I mentioned that I was okay with what he did…. In bed with guys… as long as it wasn't _my _bed.

"Calm down. I just was thinking and wanted to make sure you knew that we all love you. Heterosexually. And that its okay and its in your dna and all that… I wasn't sure you knew, and gay-under-classman made me think of it. It's like your furry little problem. We would be fine with it… only gayness wouldn't try to kill me once a month and wouldn't cause you ton's of pain and be a curse, so actually I would actually be pretty happy with it…"

Remus ignored the fact that James had just compared his lycanthropy to his sexuality, and decided to interrupt before the buffoonery continued. "One thing you are forgetting."

"?"

"I AM NOT GAY!"

"If you _were _gay!" I said, bouncing up partially because another thought had struck me, and partially because Remus looked dangerous.

**Remus' POV**

"Where are you going?" I asked, wondering if it was a wise question.

"To tell Sirius that I would accept him too!" he said as he rushed through the door. He poked his head back for a brief minute, and added, "If _he_ was gay!"

If only.


	2. advertising

_**PLEASE READ:**_** I know some people might not consider this chapter to be **_**strictly **_**within the rules of this site, but, believe me, I am just putting it up to hopefully help people find stories they will like and save them the trouble of searching my profile to find them. If you, personally, are bothered by my self-advertising, then please review or PM to tell me so, and I will be more than happy to remove this chapter. **

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El Castillo del Merodeador

Summary: in 2014, the Weasley-Potter clan made themselves a club house: El Castillo del Merodeador, or simply the Castle. Over the years some interesting things happened there. second gen. series of one-shots. sorry for the bad summary. better than it sounds.

Story: "James then walked around the trunk several times, examining it carefully, perhaps more than was strictly necessary, and continued in through the passageway that had become obvious at this proximity, which he assumed people weren't supposed to reach. It took a few minutes, but at the end of the tunnel, he found himself in a dark, dank house of some sort, that had been ripped to shreds from the inside. He had absolutely no clue as to where he was, but he didn't really care. There were some signs to hint at this house not being in use. For instance the lack of inhabitants, and, upon further inspection, anything that could lead one to believe there had been inhabitants or guests for twenty-some years. It quickly became his favorite discovery…"

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A Grave with no Body

Summary: sirius. death. sad. its about the mourning of sirius. Please read and review. i dont own.

Story: "How do you pay respects for a man who vanished into thin air? He was there one moment, and then, after the longest moment of eternity, he was just not. He, of course, being the falsely accused and convicted murderer, Sirius Black. He had died suddenly, leaving those who had cared for him in life, utterly, and horribly alone…"

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Evil Within

Summary: If things had gone differently at the Battle Of Hogwarts. It'll get better past the prologue, I PROMISE! PLEASE REVIEW! :D

Story: ""-now you all see what become's of your great _hero!_? He was weak! And now, though my own body is destroyed, I shall reign over all of you through him!" He could feel Voldemort inside of him, quickly pushing him out of his own body and into a corner of his mind. The new occupant was jubilant. Things couldn't have turned out any better for him. And it was all his fault…"

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In Your Shadow

Summary: Its just sorta three, short, individual things written from the perspectives of Rose Weasley, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy and Albus Severus Potter on the topics of their first year at hogwarts. Hints of Rose/Scorpius. Sort of overlaps with Rosius Randomness

Story: "Weasley? Yes, when I say that I _do_ mean _The_ Weasley. As in 'yes, my dad was Uncle Harry's side kick.' I get asked that question _so_ much. You'd think kids this age could find better celebrities to obsess over. Like singers. Or actors. Or _more impressive people than my parents_. And you'd think the novelty would've worn out by now. Since the war, this school has had _seven other Weasleys (how are we still a big deal!?)!_ And when I sat on the stool, waiting to be sorted, I could _see_ the Gryffindor table waiting to applaud; waiting to welcome me into their family, not that I wasn't technically blood kin to about half of them anyway, but it wasn't just my family. It was _everyone! _It took most people a few seconds to realize what had happened because most of them hadn't been listening anyway, under the assumption that a Weasley at this school couldn't possibly be anything but a brave and true Gryffindor. But, sure enough, that moldly old hat surprised them all, for a third time that night, and shouted 'Ravenclaw…'"

Link: .net/s/5838674/1/In_your_shadow

Love

Summary: just a short story that talks about the close relationships in Remus Lupin's life. a bit of remus/sirius. just for funzies! pleeeaaase review!

Story: "When Remus came to school, he had been surprised by the ease with which people accepted him. Well, not _all_ people, but the only ones that mattered. James Potter was among them. He was, without fail, a loyal an kind friend, even though he was a bit of a prat. He along with the other Marauders made sure Remus never worked himself to death. There was even a memorable moment where someone mocked Remus and ended up in the hospital wing for a month from James' skillful dueling technique. James had been the first to discover his 'furry little problem,' as well as the first to give it an annoying nick name. When he had realized what was going on, he, in a display of uncharacteristic maturity, approached Remus in private and told him that he knew, and that he was okay with it..."

Link: .net/s/5501873/1/Love

Romance on Shuffle

Summary: Remus lupin and Sirius black. Drabbles writen for a challenge i saw on someone elses profile. all ten are inspired by songs i heard with my ipod on shuffel and writien during the song. it was not easy! but it was fun. if you like showtunes, you'll like it

Story: "Remus could hardly believe it. He walked into the great hall admiring the candles. On the train, he had been bored, and he was missing his parents, but all of that was insignificant. He was _HERE!_ A _WEREWOLF! AT HOGWARTS! _He had the sensation that he was dreaming, but everything was just so magical. Even the French fries he was eating at the feast! The skies he could see above him were shown magically through the ceiling! And the boy he was sitting with was magical as well. Remus had already developed a crush. It was love at first sight. He was really, the luckiest person in the world." (BTW, that one is for the song Here I Am from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels)

Train Rides

Summary: Remus and Sirius... and trains : gonna be about 15 chapters long. yay! please read and review. Xoxoxo

Story: "It was the first of September. A young boy with shoulder-length, black hair stood outside a black car. The car had the appearance of being very expensive, and, had you been walking by at precisely the right time and place, you could have caught a glimpse of the disproportionally large interior before the boy slammed the door. A man stepped out of the drivers door and walked around to the trunk, only to find that the boy had retrieved his luggage on his own. Said boy was now walking away with a large trunk without so much as a backward glance."

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With Me Or Against Me

Summary: just a quick oneshot about astoria and draco. It takes place during the battle at hogwarts. If you don't know who astoria is........ then you suck. Rated T for an itsy bit of swearing and violance, but that is all : enjoy!

Story: "As he started to wake up, Draco heard faint crashing noises, a scream somewhere in the distance, and the shouted incantation for a shield charm coming from very nearby. He opened his eyes and looked up, squinting. From his distinctly undignified place on the floor, he could see a cloak sweeping past his face, and the long black hair of its wearer. She looked back at him, hair whipping around her face, and green eyes made contact with his, briefly. She looked around and gave her attention to the attacking deatheater once more, putting him in a strong full-body bind."

Link: .net/s/4985682/1/With_Me_or_Against_Me

**Please note that**the stories advertised here are only the stories I have written for Harry Potter. To find stories for such fandoms as Bat Boy, Fruits Basket, Cardcaptor Sakura, Pokemon, The Odyssey and more, please do visit my other stories at this link: .net/u/1771431/ Thank you and please remember to **review :)**


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